the sun's not yellow it is chicken

Category: Me Myself And I (Page 12 of 15)

The Zelig Memo

On January 25, Moonbug was last seen fleeing his imperfect persona named Bubba.

It appears Moonbug’s repetitive viewing of Woody Allen’s “Zelig” set him off on an irrational frenzy which, up to the present, remains unresolved. Bubba is fully unarmed and fully incapable of social interaction. We advise you to be on the lookout when interacting with said persona.

The CIA sent us a sample of “Moonbug’s” recent drawings. We hope you can help in nailing down said subject’s identity with the aid of the following “artwork”:


This appears to have been drawn while Bubba was at his Buenos Aires based sister-in-law’s place.


Another drawing which seems to have originated from Belgrano, Buenos Aires.


Rio de la Plata. Here we see our subject focus in on unsuspecting beach-dwellers.


Brazil. Intelligence confirms a Bubba visit to the white beaches of Buzios.


Another Bubba tranche de vie. Note the obsession with noses.

Internal memo: “God, that guy’s an untalented wanker if ever I saw one. Britt — wait — Consuela — care to have a drink? Your place or mine?”

All In The Family

Hurrah!

An Intel powered iMac has found its way to Moonbug Towers! Gaby tells me it’s a she. Gaby knows about these things. The jury is still out on a suitable name, however here’s a picture:

intel imac

30 Things About Buenos Aires

Because it was hard for me to write a coherent post about my stay in Buenos Aires I decided to go with a random list of things that struck me about the city. Bear in mind when reading that I come from a town which is the size of one single real-estate project of said city.

  1. Every cabdriver has some religious item or other dangling from his rearview mirror.
  2. Trafic is directed not by trafic lights, it is directed by the car horn.
  3. Trafic flow will scare the bejeezus out of you.
  4. Beer is sold in liter bottles.
  5. Beer is mainly sold in shops owned by Chinese people who speak something which slightly resembles Spanish.
  6. Men will kiss eachother when they meet — in fact they will kiss you when they meet you. Thankfully, so will women.
  7. Cigarettes are insanely cheap.
  8. Yet hardly anybody smokes.
  9. There’s a bizarre infiltration of German culture. Leverwurst. Warsteiner. Isenbeck.
  10. When walking the streets, avoid speaking English, lest you have a desire to get mugged.
  11. Blond is the ideal, unless it is accompanied by an orange beard, in which case it is considered hilariously funny.
  12. Get used to kids rummaging through garbage bags at 10 in the evening.
  13. The botanic garden and the zoo are wonderful places to dwell.
  14. Cats and dogs.
  15. Turds on the sidewalk.
  16. Any profanities uttered must not be of religious nature; they must however include the words “puta”, “madre”, or both.
  17. The streets are one-way and adorned with big trees whose foliage provides shelter from the heat.
  18. The Apple-store is every inch as expensive as it is here in Belgium. And the people that work there have cushion jobs, too.
  19. Ignore the glue-sniffing guy to your left.
  20. Wearing T-shirts without prints on them is like wearing a badge that says “I’m foreign, please gaze awkwardly at my composure” (as is sporting an orange beard).
  21. The police is not your friend.
  22. Football, football, football. La Boca versus Gimnasia.
  23. The food is delicious and not expensive at all.
  24. Do not bring up the IMF in any conversation.
  25. Yerba Mate. You don’t drink it, you’re not part of the tribe.
  26. Asado (the famous Argentine barbecue), during which you must eat at least 2 kilo’s of prime roasted Argentine beef or you are not a man. Having veggies on the side is considered “sissy”.
  27. There’s an internet cafe every 300 meters, and they all have Keyboards That Suckâ„¢.
  28. Never leave the internet cafe complaining about how much the computer you were using sucks: you may have to re-enter the place because 2 Bolivians on speed are trying to get your wallet right in front of the place.
  29. About 20 stamps, documents and stickers are required to be allowed into the country.
  30. About 70 stamps, documents and stickers are required to be allowed out of the country.

Countdown

Right about this time next Wednesday, we’ll be on a train to Brussels Airport. After a night of probably very little sleep, we’ll catch an early flight to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam. A mere couple of hours later, we’ll be on our way to Buenos Aires, via Saõ Paulo. We should be arriving in Argentina’s capitol on Friday at around 1:15 am local time.

I’m a little nervous at the prospect of having to spend 13+ hours in areas where you’re not allowed to smoke, but I’m hoping that, between my iPod’s reservoir of music, crossword puzzle magazines, and my pack of Nicorette chewing gum, I’ll pull through. It’s been 24 years since I last boarded a plane (I was a kid at the time!) so that should give you some indication as to my current level of adrenaline.

I’ll be bringing my pens, ink, sketchbooks and obiquitous digital camera along, aiming to capture some of the country’s spirit. Don’t expect much updates for the coming 30 days here though. I reckon we’ll be too busy trying not to get robbed/raped/kidnapped for any online activity to occur (That’s a joke, mom — gimme that smile!). But stay tuned: I shall be reporting come early January.

Hasta la vista!

Twenty Things

It’s meme time! Lindsay has tagged me so without further ado, I give you: twenty things about myself.

  1. I love coffee and cigarettes entirely too much.
  2. I tend to dislike anything sweet — no waffles, cake, chocolate, pastry or candybars for me please. Give me spicy!
  3. For most of my college days I lived on a steady diet of fries, frikandels and more fries. My mom used to pack me some readymade frozen food which would then sit in the fridge until there was no more space — at which point I would defrost some of the food and throw it in the garbage. Cruel, I know.
  4. I am a lousy cook.
  5. I am a fan of Frank Zappa whom I humbly consider the greatest composer of the last century. My other site, Kill Ugly Radio, is a tribute to the genius of his music and razorsharp wit.
  6. The first album I ever bought was David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”. Child of the eighties, oh yes.
  7. I love cats.
  8. I think rap music sucks. So do all the Beyonce’s, Shakira’s and Britney’s of this world.
  9. I’ve played in a band (called moonbug) whose bassplayer is the brother of a very successful and talented musician by the name of Ozark Henry. Whenever I mention this fact, Gabriela starts to giggle.
  10. I had rather severe hearing problems as a kid. After I had finally undergone surgery, it was as if the gates of heaven had opened. I guess that’s why I love music so much.
  11. I speak fluent English, Dutch, French, a dash of German and a smidge of Spanish. Gabriela tells me that, curiously, my voice lowers by almost an octave when I switch from English to Dutch.
  12. I started playing guitar at the ripe old age of 18.
  13. I own 7 guitars: 2 regular accoustic, one 12-string, one Gibson SG, one Fender Stratocaster, one Ibanez and one very cheap guitar I keep for sentimental reasons. That’s not counting the banjo.
  14. While in art college (’89/’94) I hated computers. I could not fathom how anything creative could be done on a machine and swore I would stick to pencils, pen and ink. Now I spend 10 hours a day working on a Mac. Hah!
  15. I am an Apple nut. Whenever I’m forced to switch to a Windows machine, it makes my eyes bleed and my brain hurt.
  16. My favorite brand of beer is Grimbergen. That might seem trivial to you but to us Belgians, beer is a religion.
  17. I am terrible at reading maps and following directions. When we recently went to pick up some friends in Lille and drove them back later, I somehow managed to take a different itinerary every single time. Gabriela thinks this is very funny. I think of it as creative driving.
  18. I find writing down 20 things about myself increasingly difficult.
  19. I have never traveled outside of Europe but that will soon change.
  20. I am a libra! You didn’t see that one coming, did you!

Since you’re supposed to spread this meme, and since I know he just loves these kinds of assignments, I am hereby tagging Juan. (Sorry man!)

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